Don’t you hate when…
People ask if you’re ok when you’re obviously not? Or how about when they say “I’m sorry.” NO! You’re not. So why say it?
When I decide to trust someone enough to tell them my problems I don’t want “I understands.” because you don’t. I don’t want “I’m sorries.” because you’re not. You just feel the need to say something. But don’t. I want you to listen and not say anything, because I just want to be able to tell someone without them trying to help me because I don’t need it.
I’ve always been alone. I’m used to it. But at some point I’ll need to let someone know at least enough so I don’t go insane with everything going on inside my head. I hate when they ask for trust because trust isn’t something you ask for. It’s something you earn. I don’t even trust my family completely so why do you think you can have any?
I’ve had bad experiences before and I’ll admit that I am a coward in that aspect because I don’t want to deal with the pain that might come if I give my all to someone again and they just throw it back in my face, like so many times before. There’s a wall surrounding my heart. A steel one with a brick one behind and infront of it and a force field surrounding all those walls.
I do hope I would be able to open up to someone again. But as for right now, I think I’ll stay the way I am until that person comes.
